sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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