Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
her vagine was all disorganized.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
