The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
