is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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