did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
