.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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