Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
