I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize