I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
