census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
