just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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