Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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