I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
