JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
