Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize