There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
