I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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