This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
