For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me