I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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