I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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