I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He has the fingertips of a God
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
