Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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