What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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