Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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