I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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