Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.