Your mouth is God's brothel.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online