You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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