Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ðð