toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.