If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.