I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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