it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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