Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
