Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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