sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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