drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
