Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
