You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
