Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize
