Christians are straight up FREAKS
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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