Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
