New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
