porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
