I just saw a hot homeless man
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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