Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
