I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
