im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
handjob tips. give me some.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
