I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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