am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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