he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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