oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
