U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
