i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
