She's JV to your varsity
Do you still have your period?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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