It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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