btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
