it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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