i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
