Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
