Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
