Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
