That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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