I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
