I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
