omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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