Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
