I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
