If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize