Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
