im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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