dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize