Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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