Banned from zoo.
Again?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
