my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
