you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
