people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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