He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
