? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
