Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
